Shy men and shy women are never going to get together
Faint heart never won fair maiden
Women are uncertain and insecure about whether they are being chatted up. They fear mutual embarrassment or destroying friendships if they cross the line
Therefore they react best to the very obvious
Unfortunately, the confident individuals who can make women feel certain, that they are being chatted up, are often the very ones you should stay away from
Nice guys are the wallflowers, not picking up on signs that they should be chatting to you, and being so understated that you will never have a clue what their intentions were.
Two-way communication
Flirting is a two-way communication. it's not about the killer chat-up line. If a woman likes a man, within reason it doesn't really matter what he says. That's why one of the questions included, have you ever been given someone's telephone number, without even speaking ? Flirting does not need words
Women believe they should be coy. One question was, why do bad girls attract all the men? Apart from the pushy men who will go after every woman, the bad girls are also attracting the shy men, by flirting with them. The shy men therefore feel empowered to approach. This is all before words are even spoken
Get out of your comfort zone
Start talking to random strangers until you feel comfortable. Not chatting them up, just normal everyday conversation. Ask someone where a shop is, or where the cauliflowers are, even though you know. I mean talk to anybody. How long before you can train people you see regularly, like shop assistants, the postman, the lollipop lady, old people you walk by, to recognise and acknowledge you. Get into society, don't be a shadow
If you are a woman and you want to be noticed, take a man by the arm and guide him out of the way. Or ask him to do something for you. Or just get in his way so he at least acknowledges you. Good morning, did you have a nice weekend does not cut it. Bad girls get all the fun, because they break the taboos
Network
We live in the same small pool of social contacts. yet many of our successful relationships come from having been introduced to someone. How is that going to work out for you?
You need a bigger pond. Start shopping in different places at different times. Make your dog work for a living. You choose where it is going to walk, or who it is going to play near. Park in a different part of the car park or in different streets. Wear different clothes so you no longer blend into the daily background. Go to things that don't interest you, just as a stepping stone to see where it takes you next
If you go somewhere, don't let buggers monopolise you and control who you talk to. Be they men, or women. It's not about having the confidence to go somewhere, it's about networking. Work the room. Move to a different group once in a while
Accepting compliments versus self image
Women don't take compliments seriously because they have a self-image. An inane compliment might be all some nervous guy can manage, so look past it. The more we like you, the more we think you are out of our league, the more nervous and inadequate we are likely to be. Ironically, the guys who don't really care are going to come across as being confident, cocky, assertive, easy to be with. Any compliment is irrelevant. it's merely a hand across the barrier. So you could say something back that doesn't fit. You don't need to think on your feet. You could have a set of stock questions. See if he can think on his feet. Find out about him, effectively
Assess People
Being chatted up does not mean you should give out your telephone number. An individual talking to you, is preventing you from meeting other, more suitable people. A pushy individual is relying on your civilised behaviour so he can be uncivilised and monopolise you. If only women could see men like other men do.
If a man looks like a tailor's dummy in a suit, he is being dishonest, to you. A really smart suit means a salesman. Someone who lies for a living. A man who really wears a suit and for whom appearance is no big deal because he has proper status, will look like he wears it. Shoes on a real man willl have scuff marks. A pretender will dress to impress. The left-right swinging walk, the gaping smile, being loud, notice me everybody, I'm the Alpha-Male. At that point you should save your sisters by removing him from the gene pool. Get past the gob-shites and work the room. If you are really clever, stand by the gents toilets because they are all going to have to walk past you. The nice men will be so confident that, until it's pointed out to you what real confidence is, you won't notice them. So stop noticing the men who are pretending to be confident, because they are not nice.
In your stock phrases, what would it tell you about a man to know where he's been on holiday? Asking questions is a chance to assess voice, body language, facial expressions, vocabulary, intellect, integrity, breeding potential, whether you like him
The Theory of Everything
In the film, how did they meet? How interested was she really, in what he was saying when they were sat on the stairs? When he approached her in the alcove, did she see a nerd burbling about croquet, or a magnificent knight asking for her hand?